As Long As The Rain Keeps Falling
by J.J. Blue
Summary: During a rainy day a man and a boy met... (SeishiroxSubaru centric) [Betaed]


**Title: "As Long As The Rain Keeps Falling..."**  
**Author: J.J.**  
**Warning:** It's an AU **BASED ON THE MANGA**. It contains **SPOILERS** for **"Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE"** manga up till Chap. 125, some Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness...  
**Notes:** This work is based on the manga. However since the manga hasn't told us yet the backstory of Subaru and Seishiro (along with many information about vampires) I made up most of it.  
**Disclaimer:**  
**"Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE"** and **"xxx HOLiC"** belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru...  
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?  
**Thanks:** To **Cjloveslink** for betaing this! Thank you a lot!  
**Summary:** _During a rainy day a man and a boy met..._

_**"Life is bigger  
It's bigger than you  
And you are not me  
The lengths that I will go to  
The distance in your eyes  
Oh no I've said too much  
I set it up **_

**_That's me in the corner  
That's me in the spotlight  
Losing my religion  
Trying to keep up with you  
And I don't know if I can do it  
Oh no I've said too much  
I haven't said enough  
I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing  
I think I thought I saw you try"  
(REM - "Losing My Religion")_**

The rain was pouring and the wind was whistling loudly between the Sakura trees and the walls of the monastery. Definitely not the best weather to go around and he was particularly grateful he didn't have to go accomplish some boring duty in the storm. He definitely he wasn't one for a religious life of devotion, self sacrifice and other stuff in which he didn't believe at all he admitted to himself as he shook his head. His father, wherever the man was now should have... he blinked and turned abruptly as he caught sight of something with the corner of his eye.

A lone figure was standing in the storm, not too far from him, just under one of the Sakura trees. The lone figure of a boy of... what? Maybe sixteen, fifteen, or even less. Surely nothing more.

The boy didn't notice him and didn't seem to plan moving from there. His gaze was focused on the higher branches of the Sakura but... but he didn't look as if he was really seeing them.

A peasant who lost his way?

Yet the teen's small and slender body was wrapped in a cape that didn't seem to speak of misery but of great economical wealth... and there was a trace of nobility in that lone figure, nobility and beauty that...

Seishiro frowned.

Only an insane boy would be out in the rain alone at that hour of the night and with that weather and anyway it was a problem that didn't regard him. He'd seen nothing. The youth could remain there to freeze to death or worst and he wouldn't care at all. Silently he entered in his cell, cursing the bad habit of the monks to let the gates of the garden of the monastery open. He didn't care if some folk might feel the need to pray or to ask for an asylum, one of these days some robber would pay them a visit and take away the few donations that had some value. Or worst they would all end victims of some killer and wake up with their throats neatly cut. And he wouldn't go into all those tales of vampires that...

His thoughts went back to the youth. Definitely the garden wasn't the safest place, especially under a tree, especially with all the thunders that were falling and that might hit the tree...

Not that it was any of his business.

He refused to go under that pouring rain for a stray youth. Let one of those guys who entered in the monastery following what they called their _'vocation'_ to play hero and go under all that rain to offer a shield to that youth. He wasn't one for those sort of things. He should have remained playing little lord in his family castle and, hadn't it been for his insane mother and his always absent but righteous father, he...

He didn't want to think about that, at how he'd been closed here for something that hadn't been his responsibility at all, something that had happened when he was about that boy's age, nor did he wanted to think at the youth who was likely going to die of some illness if he kept remaining there and...

He sat determinately on the bed.

He definitely wasn't going to rescue the youth. There was no way he would risk a cold for...

Groaning in annoyance he stood, grabbed a cape, threw it over his shoulders the best he could and exited. That stupid boy would do good to be veeeery grateful to him...

* * *

He was staring; he had no idea at what or why he had up ended there. It didn't seem to matter. It wasn't as if he had a place to go, only one in which he didn't want to, he couldn't return. He... he couldn't be what Neesan wanted him to be, he had to escape but... but he realized he hadn't planned very far in his escaping plan. He had left the castle and Neesan and Kamui... what was he supposed to do after it?

He didn't know and he didn't feel like leaving until he found out. The rain that was falling on him felt like tears, like the tears he couldn't shed, as if the sky was crying in his place and that was the only comfort he could get at the moment.

He wasn't quite sure why he was under a tree but he liked it here. Somehow he felt protected here, sheltered, even if, in truth, the tree could offer him very little repair from the rain. It didn't really matter; he was already soaked to the bones.

At least the fact that he was on sacred ground offered him a shield from Neesan and Kamui's power working as a Kekkai in which he could hide. He knew they would search for him, they were so possessive of him and he loved them, but he couldn't return back. He couldn't and so he was hiding there, a boy forsaken by Kami-sama hiding in Kami-sama's house. His life was so ironic...(1)

Then, all of a sudden, he found himself repaired by the rain as a cloth, a cape, was held over his head, shielding him.

"You'll catch your death if you remain here. Why don't you come with me?" a smooth voice behind him told him in a perfectly gentle and concerned tone. Too perfect, but he didn't care.

He turned dazedly to see who was speaking, blinking in attempt to clear his unfocused eyesight, the motion causing his weakened, frail body to sway. A strong arm caught him as he lost balance. He tried weakly and uncoordinatedly to stand on his own again but without the stranger's support, he would have only ended up falling in the muggy, soaked ground. He blinked helplessly some more but his vision was even more blurry and he couldn't make out the man's features.

"Come, we must take you someplace dry and warm," the stranger urged and this time there seemed to be a note of honest interest in his voice, not the artificial care that he had used before as he tried to pull him toward... some other place.

"No... no... I can't... they... they'll find me... you... I don't want to trouble..." he murmured weakly as his strength was quickly failing him and his brain seemed only capable to process one thought. Warm. The stranger was warm. And solid. And alive. And next to him, in a world that, in his dazed state, had seemed to him solely unreal, empty and cold.

Seishiro blinked and wondered if the beautiful youth in his arms was truly insane. The child he was holding against himself was beautiful, in an almost stunning, ethereal manner, more beautiful than everything he had seen, as beautiful as only angels or demons should be, and yet... how could he worry to incommode him when the alternative was to remain in the open, under the pouring rain in that cold place? Hell, he didn't want to be here one minute more and he was still partially dry, even if he feared it wouldn't last for long. The weather was getting even worse if possible. How could that child be willing to bear it?

"It won't be a problem at all," he assured in a rather dismissive, urgent tone, mask of politeness discharged at the prospect to waste further time in that storm. He tried to pull the youth toward his cell as the treacherous wind blew even more intensely, almost ripping the cape from his hand now that he had to use the other to support the boy who seemed about to faint at any moment. He cursed as the damned thing was flung away from their bodies in the end, leaving them both exposed to the rain, then decided it was pointless to attempt to cover themselves with it and gave up on it, picking up the youth in his arms and moving as far as he could back toward his cellar.

He closed the door hurriedly once they were inside and sighed realizing that they were both completely soaked. He just knew he shouldn't have gone out. He settled the youth in his arms down and, as he pushed back his own wet fringe from his eyes, he caught the chance to study his young _'guest'_ some more, under the pale light of the candle. He looked like... a handsome little prince, with skin so pale the blue of the veins seemed even more marked, ebony hair whose wet fringe and locks were now plastered on a round, childish face. The most amazing features were the eyes of such a deep green that he might lose himself in it, framed by long, dark, almost feminine eyelashes and red lips, that seemed made to be kissed...

Seishiro shook his head to chase that thought away. He had no interest in insane youths. The boy in the meantime hadn't moved from where he had put him, his frail body wracked by tremors.

"You must undress," Seishiro stated. The boy turned to look at him as if he had said the weirdest thing possible, but there was an empty quality in those green eyes, as if they lacked of life and he didn't move. "You must undress," Seishiro insisted. "You'll freeze to death if you keep wearing those wet clothes... and I will too," he admitted as the cold he was feeling was starting to get worse. The boy simply lowered his head.

"I... I don't want to trouble..."

"You'll be a source of troubles only if you remain like that," Seishiro interrupted him, moving to undress him. The boy didn't quite seem to understand what he was doing, but he let him remove his wet clothes, docile, as if he was used to being undressed like one would do with a doll or with a prince. More pale skin was exposed and, at the sight, Seishiro felt himself heat up. The boy instead seemed to remain unresponsive, too out of it to be affected by what was being done to him. And he was cold, so cold he could have been a corpse as well. Trying to not stare at the now naked beauty in front of him, Seishiro ripped the cover from the bed and wrapped it around the boy, who simply stared at him uncomprehendingly, picked him up again and placed him down on the bed, undressed himself as well and, after throwing more pieces of wood in the fire and placing their clothes over a chair, joined the boy in the bed, covering them both with another cover. His arms wrapped around the boy, pulling him close, trying to warm the youth up with his body heat as well as with a rubbing motion of his hands on the teen's back. The boy remained limp in his embrace and Seishiro pulled him even closer, fighting down the odd sensation that, were he to let the boy be, the youth would die and Seishiro would regret it for the rest of his life. It was lunacy, probably caused by an incoming cold or something, because he knew rather well he couldn't care for the boy. He cared for no one and this youth wouldn't make a difference and yet, when he was about to fall asleep, he had the impression the boy had weakly squirmed closer to him and he found the thing oddly pleasing...

* * *

Seishiro awoke rather late the morning after. It was still raining and he had likely missed all his morning duties. Not that he cared. The good thing of being of noble blood was that no one could really do something against him if he didn't respect rules. At worst he would get a scolding but, by then, he was used to them. They were ordinary administration and he didn't even bother to listen to them. He blinked sleepily, rubbing his face and cursing slowly when he realized he was still wearing his glasses. What had he been thinking the night before? And what was leaning so heavily over his right arm? What...

As his eyes focused on a dark head, memories came to him quickly. The boy under the rain. The youth was still asleep in his arms, his regular breath a tiny puff of air against his chest. The cover in which he had bundled him up the night before had loosened to expose slender arms adorned with beautiful hands that might belong to a wizard or a musician, definitely not large shoulders and part of the boy's straight back. Absently Seishiro's hand moved to caress it gently, his fingers following the boy's spine. The youth didn't wake up at that, on the contrary he made a content sigh and curled up more, absently moving closer to Seishiro in such a tempting manner that the man felt his blood boil as it had never done in many years, too many really.

The only other beauty he had known had been his mother and yet... she just couldn't compare with the boy in his arms now. Besides Setsuka, for all her childish beauty had, even when she slept, something that made people wary as they would near to a sleeping wolf. That boy instead... he was so deliciously defenceless he...

He would do better to get up if he wanted to have breakfast that day. He was sure he would get a scolding for his lateness by the other monks but he didn't mind and, anyway, it was a better prospective than missing breakfast at all. Besides, for all their talks about poverty, monks had pretty good breakfasts, almost like the one he had at home. He gave another quick glance at the sleeping youth. Maybe he should bring some food for him too and warn...

No, he decided abruptly. No one would know of the boy.

That youth was going to be his secret. He grinned as he left the cellar, realizing for the first time he felt like he was in a good mood since he had been exiled there.

* * *

The boy was still sleeping when he was back. He must have tossed around quite a bit because the covers were all pooled around his waist making him an even more tempting vision. Seishiro wondered how that youth could cause such reaction in him. He'd heard of homosexual relations but he had never indulged in them. He had always believed he wasn't interested in them. Maybe part of the reason lied in the fact that the monks in that monastery were uncouthly ugly while the boy... had not he seen him naked he would hesitate in saying he was a boy. He was too good looking for a boy, so good-looking he could have been exchanged for a girl in male clothes. Of course Seishiro knew he was charming too but his was a completely different type of beauty, more concrete and male like. Really, he remained more of a knight than of a monk. After all, those were his origins and what he should have been; had things gone differently. So it was rather normal they showed in his frame. Tall, with large shoulders and muscles placed in the right points and yet, harmonically so as to not make him look like one of those bulky guys that were all brawls and no brain. The village's girls sighed dreamingly in front of him, so did their mothers, and their grandmothers. One sign from him and they would all fall into his arms... it was too bad they too, like the monks, were so ugly...

The boy squirmed again, then his brows furrowed and he made a face before yawning cutely and stretching kitten like. His eyelashes fluttered, revealing glimpses of green before he blinked sleepily and sat up, looking at him rather numbly.

"Good morning," Seishiro exclaimed cheerfully, plastering on his face the expression of solicitude and good will that he believed a monk should have in that situation. The boy blinked further, as if he didn't believe him to be real, then something flicked in his eyes, speaking of recognition.

"You... yesterday night..." he mumbled remembering, then after a tired glance to his own conditions, he took the covers in his hand and pulled them over himself slowly, still in that numb manner. "Hum... I'm sorry... I'm naked..." he said slowly as if he was apologizing for it.

"I had to undress you yesterday night," Seishiro said, trying to sound all cheerful, reasonable, and sunshiny and not as if he was leering on the youth, which he wasn't. Much. Oh well, not that it mattered if he did a bit. "You would have ended up getting sick if you were to remain in those wet clothes."

"Oh... hum... I apologize for bothering you," the boy said, still sounding as if he wasn't really there. "If you could be so kind as to hand them back to me I'll be on my way in a minute..."

"But you can't leave!" Seishiro exclaimed, failing completely to hide his disappointment and hurrying to cover up his slip with sensible reasons about why the boy couldn't absolutely leave. "It's still pouring outside, your clothes are still wet, you haven't had breakfast yet and I brought some food for you, and..."

The boy shook his head slowly, his expression pained and... more real.

"I can't trouble you further. I... I must leave. Should they discover I'm here..." he trailed off as his eyes lowered and his thin arms wrapped around himself letting the covers fall on his lap again. So the boy was on the run. He couldn't be a criminal; he just didn't have the feeling of one, so maybe he was escaping from home? He could relate to that...

He moved to sit on the bed next to him and gently rested his hand on one of those pale cheeks. It was still rather cold, even if less than the day before. Oh well, at least it wasn't burning with a fever...

"Do you have a place to go?" he asked gently, trying another approach to the problem. The youth shook his head. "Then you'll stay here with me," Seishiro stated. The boy tried to speak up again but he didn't give him the time. "At least as long as the rain keeps falling. I can't let you go out in this storm now, can I? Kami-sama would never forgive me if I did."

"Kami-sama has forsaken me long ago..." the boy replied quietly. At least he wasn't speaking of leaving anymore. He still had that detached quality in his voice that gave the impression he was so far away, at least with his thoughts if not with his body, that Seishiro felt the need to grab his hand to make sure he was really there.

"Don't speak like that," Seishiro countered in that tone he always used when he had to act as a man of the church and that he didn't quite like, but that usually worked so well... "Sure, it might seem like sometimes Kami-sama isn't paying attention us, but in truth He..."

"You don't have to do that," the boy said quietly interrupting him with a pained, bitter smile. "It's very nice and I appreciate it, really, but you don't have to lie for me. Especially when you don't believe in this lie as well... Kami-sama has forsaken me. It's as simple as that and it's something I've learned to accept long, long ago. You don't have to worry about me. I'm all right," the youth insisted in a tone that clearly said he was everything but that. Besides Seishiro would have liked to point out that he didn't care about him at all, he just wanted to keep him here. Why did he want to keep him here? Well... there was probably a very good reason, only it was escaping him at the moment. Anyway he had found the youth, carried him there, and took care of him. He was allowed to expect to get something in return even if he didn't quite knew what beyond the obvious and he was so not going to ask for the obvious, not at the moment anyway, so the boy had to stay here.

"I'm not lying. Kami-sama..."

"You're not aware of it, are you? There are... so many little changes you go through when you say a lie that makes you so different from when you say the truth... and I've picked them all up..." the boy explained in an almost whimpering tone. Had he been normal... those words would have sounded perfectly honest, perfectly believable. He might have found solace in them. Had he been human... he wouldn't have been able to hear the man's thoughts right in his mind... not that he was going to mention that... but he wasn't normal and there was no point in wondering how it would have been if he were. He could... feel the lie so clearly, just as he could feel another feeling in the man. Only he had no name for it. Never before had he felt it and so he didn't know what it was. But he knew he was causing it, he and his nudity and he was sorry for being such a trouble. It had never mattered before if he was naked or dressed, but now it did and he had no idea what to do about it, he thought as he pulled back the covers over his form to hide it. "You don't have to go through all these troubles for me, I'm not worth it and..." he began again.(2)

Seishiro blinked as the boy spoke. He didn't understand how the boy could understand he was lying, he was so sure his mask was perfectly in place and yet... Time to try another way then.

"Okay, so maybe there's no Kami-sama and, if there is one, he has forsaken the both of us," he said sincerely, wondering why he was including himself as well. He didn't feel particularly neglected by Kami-sama. What happened with his mother wasn't his fault, everyone told he was too young to be accounted responsible and anyway he didn't care if he was neglected or not. In his case it was more like he had forsaken Kami-sama before Kami-sama had had the chance to forsaken him. "This doesn't mean you've to go out in the rain. I've taken the liberty to dry you up and warm you, the least you could do is to avoid to getting soaked again at such a short distance and keeping me some company."

"**_You_** want **_my_** company?" the boy echoed looking at Seishiro in such a manner it seemed to imply he found the idea incredibly dumb.

"Sure, why not?" he replied with a shrug. "By the way I'm Seishiro. You are..."

"I can't tell, I'm sorry..." the boy murmured in an apologizing tone, lowering his eyes again.

"You can't tell? Not even just your name? I won't tell, I promise," Seishiro prodded. The boy shook his head. Seishiro wondered why the youth didn't lie and tell him a fictional name. This child seemed to be almost too honest, really, and honesty was generally going to cause downfall. Not that he cared. "What am I going to call you if I don't know your name?" he insisted hoping logic could do what persuasion could not.

"Oh, whatever you like, I won't mind," the boy offered. Seishiro frowned.

"Pochi. I'll call you Pochi," he stated in an almost challenging tone. The boy stared at him and seemed almost about to point out that _'Pochi'_ was a name more fitting for a dog than for a person then lowered his head in resignation.(3)

"If it pleases you," he agreed unhappily. No, it didn't please Seishiro at all but, at the moment, he didn't have a back up plan.

* * *

Rain kept falling. The boy (Despite his threat, Seishiro rarely called him _'Pochi'_ and only when he tried, rather unsuccessfully he had to admit, to tease him) remained obediently closed in Seishiro's cellar. Not one of the other monks knew he was there. It was Seishiro's secret only and there was something that made Seishiro childishly giddy about the whole matter.

His guest was an extremely unobtrusive one. He was always so very polite and sensible it was starting to bother Seishiro. Yet, when the boy was around, he didn't need to pretend to feel this or to be that. The youth had the amazing ability to always pick up if he lied or not as well as many other little things over Seishiro's behaviour as if he could read them straight out from his mind and accepted them without discussion and this allowed Seishiro to be... himself. The boy wouldn't be shocked if Seishiro were to say something... almost heretic and he was always willing to listen when Seishiro wanted to talk. Seishiro began spending less and less time out of the cellar just to have the chance to be with the boy. After all it wasn't as if the other monks cared about him...

* * *

"Seishiro-san..." the boy began hesitantly in a soft-spoken tone after hours of silence, trailing off immediately as if afraid to disturb the other. Seishiro was, for him, always _'Seishiro-san'_ and never _'Father Seishiro'_ and Seishiro liked it.

"Yes?" Seishiro answered solicitously, trying to prod him to continue.

"Seishiro-san... may I ask you something?" the youth asked him, looking at him nervously, as if afraid his curiosity might be obtrusive. Sometimes Seishiro wondered how the boy could be so polite, quiet, and withdrawn. Ten days had gone from the day he had carried the boy there and that was what, the second time the youth had started a discussion. The previous time it hadn't gone quite the way Seishiro wanted. The boy had offered to sleep on the floor. Seishiro had refused, insisting it wasn't necessary really. It was odd, but he liked to have the boy curled up in his arms, despite the fact that the youth was always cold and no amount of heat seemed to warm him. Just on a whim one time Seishiro had tried rubbing the boy's hands over and over in attempt to warm them up at least and had given up in the end. Both their hands were starting to get sore, but there wasn't the palest flicker of heat in the ones of his guest, who was staring at him with a patient, yet resigned expression on his face, as if he already knew what Seishiro was doing was senseless and yet couldn't work up the heart to dissuade him. Anyway, when Seishiro had refused to let the boy sleep on the floor, the youth had done another polite attempt to dissuade him and then had gracefully given up, apologizing again for troubling Seishiro and assuring him he would leave as soon as the sky would clear up, which hadn't pleased Seishiro in the slightest. He hated when the youth mentioned he was going to leave.

"What would you like to know?" he asked warily, hoping it wasn't something concerning the weather.

"What is that thing you wear so often in front of your eyes?" the boy asked tilting his head slightly. "It just seems just pieces of glass to me..."

"The thing I... my glasses you mean?" he asked removing them and handing them to the teen so he could look at them better. The youth took them carefully in his hands, turning them a couple of times, his green eyes studying them carefully. "My eyesight isn't the best and those help," Seishiro explained in the meantime.

"Is it no good? Why?" the boy asked turning to look at him, then lowered his head abruptly. "Sorry, maybe it was a too personal question, I'm..."

"It's not too personal and it's no secret," Seishiro assured sitting next to him. "So don't worry. However I've no idea why it's not that good. I'm just born like that. It has happened to other people too," he pointed out. The boy said nothing, his gaze still on the glasses he was turning between his hands.

"I'm sorry you can't see well," he whispered in the end, mournfully.

"Well, my eyesight isn't completely bad. I can manage fairly well even without the glasses. They just make things even clearer," he explained. Glasses weren't a commodity for everyone but they were fairly common among rich people in those times. It was odd how the boy didn't seem to know them.

"I'm so sorry," the boy repeated. "To think you've eyes of such a pretty colour... it's not fair they can't see well..."

"I've what?" Seishiro asked, quite surprised. Through all those days the youth had seemed quite oblivious of him or his physical appearance, so oblivious it was quite annoying, really. It made Seishiro feel as if he was merely tolerated and he didn't like it. Now it seemed not only the boy had took note of his look and liked it, or at least part of it, he also was sympathising with him for his little eye problem. The boy looked at him in confusion then lowered his gaze again in embarrassment and mortification.

"Sorry. Maybe it's not proper to say it. I... I don't know, I... I never talked much and... I don't know..." he babbled. He didn't mean to make an appreciation or to pity Seishiro. He had just stated a fact. Seishiro's eyes were pretty, a beautiful shade of gold he'd never seen before, and he felt sad at the idea that the man couldn't see well with them that he had to use a contraption to do so, a contraption that partially hid them. The boy never had that problem and never would have. His eyesight was perfect, way better than the normal one. That perfect eyesight was part of what he was.(4) He wished he could share it with the man. He didn't want such perfect eyesight and... "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked. Asked. Whatever," he said in the end rather lamely and was startled when the man rested his hand over his hair and ruffled it.

"It's okay. I definitely don't mind and I'm glad you finally decided to talk..." the man assured and the boy turned to study him. It was tremendously odd but the man had told the truth. He wanted... he wanted the two of them to talk and it was even odder but the boy wanted it as well. It was strange, before it had always been Hokuto-chan the one who got to do all the talking, he and Kamui being both the silent type and now... Now he wanted to talk with this man who acted so childishly and yet seemed to harbour a weird sort of affection for him...

"Besides... if you like how my eyes look without them I'll try to wear them as little as possible, only when I really need it..." Seishiro continued, whispering the words in the boy's ear in what should have been a seductive tone and that went completely lost with the youth. The boy studied him, tempted to tell him he didn't mean to cause him troubles however... the prospect of seeing Seishiro-san's eyes more often was strangely too tempting and he found himself lowering his head, unable to reply. He wasn't aware he was blushing since the first time he'd been born...

* * *

"It's still raining," the youth observed, fifteen days after his meeting with Seishiro.

"Yes, so?" Seishiro replied casually pulling down his cape as he handed to the boy the food he had carried for him. His guest ate little and very neatly, doing such a careless show of perfect manners Seishiro found intriguing to watch him during the whole time.(5)

The boy set the bowl of food on the desk, his back turned from Seishiro.

"It's just... I have been troubling you by so long..."

"I don't mind," Seishiro assured, hugging him from behind and startling him. "I don't mind at all." The boy did nothing to free himself from his hold, on the contrary he seemed almost to lean into it.

"You're so warm..." he observed.

"While you're always so cold," Seishiro countered. "I really don't know what to do to warm you up..."

"I... I'm rarely warm..." the boy admitted with one of those melancholic glances he had so often.

"I want to warm you up," Seishiro stated.

"I don't want you to," the youth said firmly and Seishiro pulled back, feeling rejected. "There would be a price to pay for it and it's one I don't want you to pay," the boy continued hugging himself. There was only one way for the man to warm him. And it would likely end up requiring Seishiro-san's death. And the boy would **NEVER** allow it.(6)

"You worry too much," Seishiro replied carelessly but the mood was kind of ruined. "Eat your food."

* * *

"What are you doing?" the youth asked three days later, peering up on Seishiro's shoulder as the man was writing something bent on his desk.

"Copying this book. They assigned this work to me, complaining I'm not doing anything productive!" the man said in a protesting tone.

He got a timid, shy smile in reply and, since it was so rare to see the boy smiling, he decided the effort of copying the book was worth it. When his guest smiled he was... was... he would have said _'beautiful'_ but the word wouldn't make him justice. He was really so much more than beautiful...

"Well... I don't think they can consider the fact of you taking care of me as work..." the boy pointed out. Actually, other than getting him food and sharing with him his bed and his cell, Seishiro-san wasn't taking care of him anymore. It was more the other way around with the youth keeping the place clean and ordered, but the boy didn't even consider mentioning it.

"I'm noble! I'm not supposed to work! I came from a family of warriors and wizards not from one of workers!" Seishiro-san pouted quite childishly.

"Well... some might consider that as work too..." the boy countered. Seishiro-san pouted some more in a rather adorable manner. "Give me the feather. I'll do it," the teen offered in the end, capitulating under such a cute look.

"You know how to write?" Seishiro asked, blinking innocently. He was always searching for a way to discover more about the youth's past.

"Quite well and in more than one language," the boy replied, giving him that _'I know what you're trying to do'_ gaze as he set himself on work. His writing was smooth, precise, delicate and rather beautiful. Seishiro hugged him from behind, leaning on him slightly.

"It's just you never tell me things about you," he complained.

"I've been home schooled. Neesan wanted me to learn to do everything perfectly because..." he paused, his hold on the feather tightening. "Never mind, let's not talk about it."

"Let's talk about it," Seishiro insisted. "You're escaping from home, I get that much. I won't tell anyone you're here, I promise. It wasn't as if my family was all rainbows and sunshine either. You can stay here and hide here with me forever. Maybe you can join this monastery as well and..."

"No. No, I can't," the youth interrupted him immediately, his tone firm.

"Sometimes you're so frustrating!" Seishiro spat, breaking the hug. "I'm just trying to help!"

"I can't be helped..." the youth replied sadly.

* * *

Seishiro made a tiny gasping sound as the paper cut him. The cut was tiny and not serious at all even if, as any tiny cut, stung like hell and yet, at the sight of the first tiny drop of blood, the boy turned immediately his head, covering his mouth with his hand as if nauseous.

"Hey, you well?" Seishiro asked a little annoyed as he stuck his thumb in his mouth, sucking it lightly, lapping away the blood and washing the cut with his saliva. He'd like to be the one who was receiving attentions in that moment, not the other way around.

"I'm sorry... I... the blood... I just... can't stand the sight... the smell... I'm so sorry..." the youth babbled, his shoulders trembling slightly revealing a distress over the matter that wasn't quite normal. Seishiro blinked as he realized his guest was crying.(7)

"Hey... it's nothing serious, really, it's okay if you don't like the sight of blood... besides it's not even bleeding anymore..." he assured as he rested his large hands on the boy's slim shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. The next he knew was that the youth had turned and buried his head against his chest, sobbing.

"I'm sorry," he was repeating over and over, even if Seishiro couldn't understand what he was sorry about. "I'm so sorry..."

_'I'm so sorry I'm not normal, I'm so sorry I'm not like you I'm so sorry when I see blood all I can think is 'food' even if it's your blood and you're much more to me than a source of food, I'm so sorry...'_

* * *

"It doesn't seem like it'll stop raining," the boy observed at the thirtieth day and Seishiro was about to make a scanting remark at his words when he caught the youth looking at him timidly as he made a question before Seishiro could really open his mouth. "Do you think it can keep raining forever?" There was a pleading shade in the boy's tone and Seishiro caught that chance to pull him to sit on his lap.

"Maybe," he offered, holding him tightly, burying his face against the boy's hair, victim of an intense feeling, a feeling that he had no name for. It was, at the same time, sweet and painful. "Maybe it can."

* * *

Changing in the same room with Seishiro-san was getting embarrassing, the boy realized. Before he had tried to not mind it much. Seishiro-san's thoughts were always... weird when he got to see a piece of his skin but he had assumed it was due to his unhealthy pallor or... something. He really didn't have experiences with that feeling before, any time he had changed with Kamui, bathed with him or... or everything else... well, Kamui had felt nothing more than the tight bond that there was between the two of them. Kamui was also a bit more possessive than he was, he had to admit that, but that was all. Neesan was the same as Kamui and the servants... Those poor, soulless creatures barely felt a thing.(8) Seishiro-san... Seishiro-san felt as if he was... hungry. Of what? The youth had no idea and, instead of getting used to it, the thing was starting to make him feel really uncomfortable. Maybe it was another proof of their difference, another thing he would never be able to experience as he would have had he been normal. Had he been still human.

He began turning away from Seishiro-san every time they had to change, embarrassed but also tremendously saddened as he was always reminded they were different. Seishiro-san noticed, Seishiro-san might be a disaster at handling his emotions and he behaved like a three year old most of the times, but he had a definitely sharp sense of observation. He never missed details. The worst was Seishiro-san seemed to be amused by it, which made things for him even harder to handle.

"Look at me," the man commanded one night, while they were in bed together, his arms firmly wrapped around the boy's smaller, naked frame.

"No," he replied defiantly, knowing without needing to see it that Seishiro-san was grinning. He could feel the man pulling him even closer so that his back was pressed completely against the man's large chest and a tiny corner of his mind regretted the fact that he would never get to grow, to become a man. He would be trapped forever in that boyish, childish form...(9)

"Oh? Why not?" Seishiro-san wondered in a teasing tone, his warm breath tickling his neck as his fingers slid to brush the boy's shoulder.

"You know why not," the boy replied curling up even more.

"Enlighten me," Seishiro-san insisted, faking ignorance as he snuggled even closer to him.

"You're embarrassing me!" the boy protested, in an uncharacteristically loud voice. "And you're doing it on purpose! You... you look at me... like... I don't know but it's embarrassing! It's embarrassing and I don't understand and I can't take it further and... and..." he trailed off, confusion, fear and shame mixing inside him. "Please... stop..." he begged sounding about to start crying. He didn't understand that, he didn't understand at all and it scared him. Seishiro-san pulled him even closer, but this time his hold didn't feel weird, just comforting.

"I look at you as the most beautiful and exciting thing in the world, as the only thing I want," he explained, cuddling him. "What's wrong in this?" he asked sounding rather innocent. He really saw nothing wrong in his actions. He knew some might not approve but, after all, others' opinion had never mattered to him.

The boy turned to look at him in confusion.

"But I'm not beautiful..." he observed.

"Then you must be blind. How can you be so oblivious? You're the most desirable thing in the world." Seishiro-san whispered in a raw tone, his lips so close to his he could almost breathe the man's breath.

"I'm... desirable?" he asked frowning in confusion. "What does that mean, that I'm something people wish to possess?" Seishiro blinked then laughed for the first time in ages in face of this display of ingenuity and the boy stared at him, mortified and hurt. The expression on his face was so adorable that Seishiro stopped laughing to fully turn him toward himself and caressed his fine, ebony hair gently.

"It means you make me wish to do this," he said rather tenderly before pressing his lips against the youth. The act was rather sweet and not at all forceful, but it was a completely new experience for the boy and he didn't know how to react. There had never been such acts in his life, not on his lips or in any other place. It just... wasn't his family's way and he didn't quite understand why Seishiro-san could wish to do such a thing with him. However the feeling of doing it was slightly embarrassing, but very nice and, despite his blush, he had no objection in letting Seishiro-san do it again and again, not just on his lips, but on his face and neck too and Seishiro-san had no problems at all in continuing, not solely in that gentle way but in a deep and possessive way and Seishiro-san seemed so pleased when he clung to him, tightly, as tightly as he could without hurting the man, that the boy could definitely say it had not been a bad experience. He stared at the man when Seishiro-san took his face in his hands and studied him carefully as if trying to guess what was on his mind.

"I don't know what this thing is," the boy admitted feeling slightly ashamed at his ignorance. Seishiro-san smiled at him, but, even if there were some traces of amusement in it the prevailing feeling was fondness.

"It's called kiss," he whispered quite sensually and the boy curled next to him like a kitten in search of warmth and protection, his body unfailingly cold despite Seishiro's many attempts to warm him up and Seishiro knew that this should tell him something, but he didn't really want to listen. Not in a moment like this, not ever. He was sure it wasn't important anyway.

"Kiss..." the boy repeated tasting the sound of the word on his lips before snuggling even closer. "An act of love," he continued, associating to it his feelings and Seishiro-san's.

_'Or lust,'_ Seishiro's mind supplied, but he didn't quite feel like telling it out loud and not because it wouldn't do well to the mood. Somehow the notion seemed incorrect to him in that moment, even if he had no idea why.

* * *

The boy was laughing, his arms wrapped around himself as he tried to stifle his chuckles unsuccessfully. Gales of laughter were making his shoulder tremble and his sides hurt and the worst was Seishiro-san's funny tale wasn't finished yet.

"I... I can't believe you... you did it..." he managed to say, fighting to get himself under control and failing.

"Of course I did and that's not even the worst I can do," Seishiro-san stated and when the boy raised his head to look at him curiously the man began tickling him, causing him to fall on the bed as he began laughing anew, squirming and struggling and begging Seishiro-san to stop because that was just too much...

He didn't quite remember the moment Seishiro-san stopped, all he knew was that one moment he was helplessly trying to escape his touch and the next he was lying on the bed, smiling as Seishiro-san was snuggling next to him.

"I... I can't remember the last time I laughed..." he admitted, sobering up. "It seems like... a lifetime ago... and maybe... it was..."

"Well, it's good you've me to remind you how to do it," Seishiro-san told him smugly and he smiled fondly at the man.

"You... you make me happy," he admitted quietly, caressing Seishiro-san's hair. Seishiro-san nodded while looking and feeling very pleased. He didn't reply _'So you do too'_ but the boy could feel it anyway and that was just as good. For once the youth was glad of his inhuman abilities. He doubted that Seishiro-san, left to his own devices, would have been able to express his own feelings and he was sure he would have never guessed them had he been a normal teen.

Silence fell between them for a long while.

Recently Seishiro-san was even more reluctant than usual to leave him and when he did it was only to retrieve food. He had no idea which excuse he had used to... well, basically skip all the other duties he should have. All the man did was copying books and, in truth it was him who did most of the work in place of Seishiro-san. Not that he minded, he liked doing things for Seishiro-san but... but it always never felt enough and he was troubling the man and, despite the fact it just felt right to be with him, he knew what he was and...

"Hey," Seishiro-san called him resting his large hand on the youth's cold cheek and using it to turn the boy's face toward him. "Maybe Kami-sama hadn't forsaken us. Maybe He wants us to be the way we are together. And if He doesn't... well, we don't have to care."

"I won't remain here with you for long," the youth replied his gaze firm and pain filled. "I... can't... It'll be... only as long as the rain keeps falling..." he managed to say and at that Seishiro-san's gaze darkens predictably and he could almost hear him screaming his denial in his head in that childish, stubborn manner Seishiro-san had _'Mine, I don't want you to leave, mine, only mine, don't leave, I won't let you...'_ and before the man could attempt to say something that would probably be hurtful he rested his small hand on the man's lips. "Tell me it won't stop raining," he begged. "Tell me it'll keep raining forever."

Seishiro blinked at the unexpected request, then pulled him close, allowing the boy to curl next to him the manner they both were so fond of, as he trailed kisses through the boy's hair and face.

"It won't stop raining, the rain will keep falling forever and ever and ever..."

* * *

"I'd like to have sex with you," Seishiro flatly told the boy one day out of the blue and he was amused at seeing the perfect display of confusion on the boy's features. He'd given up long ago in trying to force the youth to tell him his name or something over his past. The boy just wouldn't tell, just get sad and withdrawn so Seishiro had chosen to not dwell on it more than necessary and poke at the topic only randomly, just to test if the youth had changed his mind. So far it hadn't. He also insisted in saying he would leave when it would stop raining. He didn't seem to look forward to it. At all, and that had been enough to stop him from leaving the few times the rain had seemed to be willing to take a short break becoming just a soft spray of tiny drops. Seishiro liked to coax him into staying with the silliest excuses and the boy gave in rather easily. Yet, each time the sky seemed about to clear he felt a pang of a rather painful feeling and a desperate need to be with the boy, to make sure he wouldn't leave. He had no idea why he was so anxious over it, and no plans to dwell on it more than necessary. He was often tempted to tie the boy to the bed when he had to leave the room and the youth, as if reading his thoughts, always assured him he wouldn't leave without saying _'goodbye'_ and that had always been enough to stop the urge. However... however he wanted more from the youth and he was bored with trying to content himself. He knew quite well it was a sin to merely consider doing that with a boy, but he had already done it with his mother and so he was going to be doomed anyway. It would be much better if the boy would be doomed with him as well. They would meet again in Jigoku and be together there too. His guest however didn't seem to have an idea of what he was asking and Seishiro couldn't have known that the boy had lived in a place in which sex wasn't practiced.(10)

In his attempt to explain to the boy what sex was Seishiro made the mistake of talking of it as the act also used to give birth to new children and that was enough to have the youth panic.

The only childbirth he could think about was the one that had turned him in what he was and he didn't want to do that to Seishiro-san, he didn't want to force that on Seishiro-san as it had been forced on him. Seishiro-san wouldn't become the... thing... he was.(11)

Seishiro found the boy's concern on his behalf touching but he couldn't quite understand it. He knew too little about homosexual sex to realize there was pain involved, even if the youth wasn't definitely talking of that pain, and, anyway, he wanted to do it with the usual stubbornness with whom he wanted things and wouldn't be talked out of it.

The boy wouldn't have given in to him if he hadn't finally realized that, when he and Seishiro talked about birth, they talked about two quite different things. That reassured him somehow and made him complacent. He still had no idea what they were going to do but, as long as it didn't involve changing Seishiro's nature, he was willing to go through it, if only to please the man.

First experience wasn't quite a success. The boy freaked out when Seishiro tried to bite him during the act, and it took quite a lot of time to coax him back in bed, along with the promise Seishiro would never, **NEVER** try to bite or scratch him again. Seishiro was reminded of how the youth had reacted to the sight of blood and decided that that was the reason. Once the biting-scratching part was dealt with there was the problem of resuming activities. The mood had been quite ruined and Seishiro didn't know but the boy had no idea if he was capable to enjoy an act that, for his species, was definitely unnecessary.(12)

Nervousness was rather hard to set aside and, for a while, they fumbled unsuccessfully. Then a kiss, very passionate and hungry from Seishiro's side and rather tender and delicate from the boy's, helped their confused feelings find balance and to melt in one another's love and this helped them to find the right mood also. Still fumbling, but more in an exploring kind of way than in a clumsy one, they managed to make things progress nicely. It turned out, that part of the boy was still human enough to enjoy the act and this helped the youth to relax too, his enjoyment encouraging Seishiro as well. The final act didn't go quite as smoothly as Seishiro would have wanted, on the contrary it was rather painful for both sides at first but then it ended in the most satisfying of the manners and the two remained tangled together after it, cuddling one against the other in a temporal state of bliss.

"Now I won't let you leave," Seishiro stated darkly, his face pressed against the boy's chest. "Not even if the rain doesn't keep falling. Not even if you beg me. Not even..."

"I know," the boy interrupted him caressing his hair, his voice calm, secure, and so loving. The man had no idea that, should the youth choose to leave he hadn't the means or the strength to stop him and the boy didn't plan to tell him. Not now, not ever.(13) "I don't want you to. I... I want to live for you, to make you happy. It doesn't matter the price." Seishiro looked up at him and met serene, loving green eyes and smiled, a rather childish, very cute smile before snuggling against the boy again.

"Does this mean I also get to know your name?" he asked after a while.

"Seishiro-san, don't push your luck..." the boy warned with amusement in his voice and Seishiro gave up. Temporary. He was sure he would have other chances...

* * *

Life together kept being very good. Practice made the act better and they both were talented students. Seishiro was as happy as he never would have believed he could be. Everyone in the monastery had noticed that it did good to him to be left in his cellar on his own and no one cared enough to find out why. It didn't surprise Seishiro who knew well that the boy he'd found was the only one capable to care for him. They spent their time making love or lying together with their limbs tangled. When they spoke it was always of topics that were tremendously important and private even if to external observers many of them wouldn't seem as such. They were happy, so happy everything else seemed meaningless. It didn't matter anymore that Seishiro's mother had seduced him when he was little more than a child and, when his father had found out, he had accused the woman of being a witch and chased her away and sent Seishiro into the monastery so as to not have to see him and the dishonour his heir bought on the family ever again. It didn't matter that the boy's _'family'_ was probably still searching for him and there would be hell to pay if he was discovered. It didn't matter that he missed Neesan and Kamui so very badly either. They were happy. That seemed the only important thing.

* * *

Darkness, silence except for the sound of rain falling then a satisfied sigh.

"Have I ever told how much I love you?"

"No. In the last five minutes you've been completely silent... I almost felt neglected..."

Pouting.

A giggle.

"Might it be because someone was kissing me?"

"That's not a good excuse... I was only trying to catch your attention..."

More pouting. More giggles.

"Seishiro-san... you're hopeless..."

"Who, me?"

A firm nod.

"Yes, you."

"Maybe so." A pause of silence, an exchange of smiles in the darkness. "Well? Aren't you going to tell me?"

"Huh? Tell you what?"

"How much you love me..."

A soft smile.

"Don't you already know?"

Childish eagerness.

"Tell me again!"

"I love you. I love you so much. I love you. I love only you, no one else but you. I love you so much the whole world isn't enough to contain all my love for you. I love you. I love you so much. I..."

A deep kiss was exchanged as the sound of rain still falling was clearly heard in the background.

* * *

It was when Seishiro-san slept that the boy indulged himself into thinking at his own past, his own origins.

He hadn't been always what he was now. There had been a time when he'd been human, as human as Seishiro-san was. He had no idea who had given birth to him and if those people had been the same as who had given birth to Kamui. He didn't remember his parents. His oldest memory was of himself wandering through a ruined town, holding Kamui's hand as the boy trailed after him like a lost puppy. There was no one else there, only corpses and they were just two tiny children who wouldn't have lasted long, should they remain alone for long. They hid under a Sakura tree and went to sleep between its roots and, when they awoke, Neesan was there, looking at them intensely, as if trying to decide what to do with them. Her lips were unnaturally red and, when they realized it was because there was blood on them, Kamui grew scared and began to cry. He didn't. He didn't realize why her lips were bloody and asked her politely if she was hurt and if there was something he could do for her. She blinked then laughed in a quite high-pitched manner, commented they were adorable and that she was going to keep them. He didn't remember what happened after, his next memory was of waking up in a rather luxurious bed in a wonderful room inside a castle.

Neesan, Hokuto was her name, provided to them, giving them food and lots and lots of clothes, playing with them as would a little girl with her dolls. He had submitted to that life quite obediently, doing everything Neesan had asked him to do, from studying to wear the weirdest clothes, from learning spells and martial arts to learning manners and etiquette. Kamui had often thrown a fuss instead, showing a rebellious streak that often led him into troubles and earned him a spanking, yet they had lived together like a happy family. That had been until he and Kamui were around sixteen and Neesan judged them to be old enough to... truly belong to her family.

Their... new birth hadn't been painful and, at first, he hadn't understood what had been done to them. Neesan had began saying that now they were a real family and that he and Kamui were really twins, having been born on the same day and Kamui, who adored him, had been so happy he hadn't had the heart to tell them he wasn't sure if he'd liked things to be different from before. Actually he didn't want to be different at all, nor did he want to live in a old castle so far from... from everything, and the more he realized he was different from normal the more desperate he grew.

Then... then he discovered what happened to the few who happened to find their castle. Neesan's guests... they... they never got to return home. Kamui wasn't overly troubled by it. _'Their blood tastes so good,'_ he would say and Neesan would chime, _'Try it. Even if we can survive without blood, it gives us strength and power. You'll only weaken yourself without it, while just a drop will make you so...'_

But he didn't want to be turned into something even more different and he pitied the poor souls who would never get to return back to their homes and families.

_'Why do you care about them?'_ Kamui would ask him then. _'No one cared about us, no one except Hokuto-chan. Why to care about them?'_ and Neesan would add _'You're not like them anymore. Learn to consider them as food, it'll be simpler. They aren't worth much more anyway and they'll hate you and try to kill you should they discover you're different.'_

It made sense but... he couldn't. His heart bled for the men in the same way that they bled for Kamui and Neesan. He had always been obedient, he had always done what had been asked of him to do, he had always put aside his own wishes to satisfy the ones of Neesan and Kamui but... but he couldn't do that.

Neither of the two was pleased by it. Kamui felt as if that was keeping them distant when Kamui's only wish was to be close and Neesan... Neesan could see his potential. All the studying he did would make him extremely powerful, way too powerful than her, powerful enough to rule on the whole country, they could become the rulers of the whole place and he... he was spoiling that chance for... some silly, foolish sentimentalism. Kamui had potential as well, and lot of strength but... but he wasn't one to rule and he was tremendously behind in his magic studies so Neesan... Neesan wanted him, wanted him more then everything and Neesan was very stubborn.

He should have been more wary, but he hadn't expected them to trick him in such a horrible way. One day they... they had drugged him, drugged him and then abandoned him in a room with a bleeding man, a bleeding man that was asking for help, for his help, and he wanted to help him, he really did, but the drug... the drug made his will weak and the call of spilled blood... the call of blood had been an imperative he hadn't been able to ignore.

He had caused that man's death that night, drinking from him until his body was nothing more but an empty container and then, drunk on blood and the power it carried, he had fainted.

He had awoken back in his bed; his clothes and his face still dirty in blood and he felt sick. Neesan and Kamui had been very solicitous with him and also... sickening happy for what he had done, for what they had accomplished. He was powerful now, way more powerful than before, he wouldn't deny that, but he didn't want that, especially not at the price of another life. And they wouldn't stop, he understood that now. They would force him to drink again, and again, and again, until it would seem normal... or until his mind would snap. He couldn't allow them. He was determinate and strong but he knew he lacked in astuteness. They would... trick him again and again because they too were determinate and stubborn and didn't like to be said _'no'_ too.

So... so he realized he couldn't do anything else but leave and did exactly that. He escaped, he escaped the farthest he could, hiding in monasteries and churches when he had to rest, hiding, always hiding, running, always running, until his path crossed with the one of Seishiro-san.

The man... he was so similar to Neesan and Kamui, so stubborn, childish and unable to take _'no'_ as an answer and yet... so similar to him too, so out of place, so... alone he... he had felt an affinity with him, an affinity way stronger than the bond he had with his so called family and that bond had only grown. The life he had despised so badly now was dear to him, dear because he had the warm presence of the man next to him. Seishiro-san would probably never admit he loved him, maybe not even realize he did, but the boy knew the man did and that was enough for him. Now the teen was even glad for what he was in a way, because that allowed him to understand the man better, to answer to his needs more readily.

However... what he was contributed in keeping him distant from the man as well. There were things he, not being human anymore, couldn't understand, things he couldn't do. He wouldn't grow and one day Seishiro-san was bound to notice it. One day he would understand it and... what? Would he be disgusted by what he was? Would he chase him away? Would he kill him as the abomination he was? He suppressed a sob. He didn't know and he didn't want to know, didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about it or of the danger of Neesan and Kamui finding him. He... he only wanted to live, to live for Seishiro-san, he thought as he hugged the man who snuggled happily in his embrace. He wanted to live for Seishiro-san, to make him happy. Everything else was meaningless.

* * *

"You're doing it again," Seishiro protested pouting slightly, hugging the youth from behind and kissing the boy's head.

"Doing what?" he asked turning to hug the man.

"Cutting me out of your thoughts. I don't like that," he explained, pouting slightly. The boy smiled, a sad, little smile.

"I guess... I'm praying..." he admitted.

"Praying for what?" the man inquired.

"Praying for this to last," the boy answered quietly. "Praying for the rain to keep falling."

"Oh. And why does this makes you sad?"

"Have you forgotten? Kami-sama forsaken me. He won't listen..." the boy replied hiding in Seishiro's embrace. Seishiro didn't reply, he just hugged him tighter.

* * *

Sometimes Seishiro was kept away from the youth with time enough to wonder over their situation. Sometimes, when with an excuse or another he had to leave the monastery for a couple of hours, a thing he really hated especially under that pouring rain, not that he wanted it to stop but he didn't like to get soaked either... he wondered. He didn't mind the fact that what he was doing with the youth was undoubtedly a sin, actually he didn't care at all. However he knew there was something... different... in his young lover. Yet, every time he thought at it he pushed that idea aside. He didn't want to think at it in the same way he didn't want someone to steal the boy from him. He wouldn't allow it. He was sure he would manage to stop everyone who would attempt to do so.

However, when he returned back to the monastery and found it a bloody mess, with the corpses of the monks throw everywhere, fear filled him and he raced toward his cellar. He didn't care about the monks he only cared about the boy but his cellar was empty and, when he turned, he saw a boy he never seen before under the same Sakura tree under which he met his young guest. He was about to ask him what had happened when he noticed that the boy wasn't a normal boy at all.

"Where's Subaru?" the youth asked him, his eyes cat-like as nails too long and sharp to belong to a human showed up on his hands. "Where's my twin?"

A vampire. That boy was a vampire. And that vampire probably had... he had... the boy... his little guest... his young lover... the only one who had ever cared for him... the only one he had ever cared for...

"You... This was all your fault!" he hissed before attacking with all he had. He came from a family of warriors and wizards. He was strong. However he was no match for a vampire. Claws pierced through him, cut through his heart, a heart he didn't know he possessed and that was hopelessly bleeding already, even before the nails cut through it. It had taken the vampire one blow, one blow to send him on his knees, under that Sakura tree that had seen such a different meeting not so long ago...

"**NO! STOP! LET HIM GO!**" he heard a familiar voice screaming and he turned to see the boy he'd kept hidden for all that time alive, running toward him. Running towards his death. That vampire would kill him too. That vampire... He didn't want that and he tried to voice out his thoughts, but his vision blurred and blood filled his mouth as the vampire retreated his claws from his body and he slumped on his knees and straight in the arms of the one who had been his lover as his world grew progressively cold. His hearing was off, he couldn't speak and his eyesight too was failing him. He tried desperately to fight darkness, to fight death, when he saw the vampire grabbing the boy's arm, but couldn't and lost consciousness. His last thought was that he would die... and the boy would likely be killed after him and that... wasn't bad at all. At least they would remain together forever. For them the rain would keep falling. Forever.

* * *

_'Goodbye.'_

The sound echoed in the darkness, bouncing through it like a condemn and he felt the childish temptation to try to grab it, to stop it, but he couldn't move. he felt so numb right then, as numb as if he was dead, and there was an odd taste in his mouth and it was cold... so cold...

* * *

He awoke hours later. The rain was still falling but he was... he was alone. There was no trace of his wound as if it had never been done and if he excluded the fact that he was still surrendered by corpses and that there was a cut close to where his heart was on his clothes and signs of dry blood around it he could have believed he had dreamt it all. There was no trace of the vampire or of the boy either. The vampire... he probably had... he had... He threw up at the idea that... that the vampire... that he might have... that the kind soul he had loved so badly might have been turned into food and... and then his corpse might have been discharged somewhere... like an useless thing... like a broken doll...

As soon as he managed to stand he began searching, he searched everywhere but he couldn't find him. The vampire... the vampire had taken him away.

He decided to search for the vampire then. For the vampires. The boy said he had a twin. Subaru. He had no idea who of the two had killed his lover, but he would find them and make them pay. It was a promise.

* * *

"... it wasn't us. It was... some men with a bat on their uniforms... it didn't matter he thinks it was us..." the boy said quietly in a empty tone, as if he was completely void of life. "He likely hate us now... like Neesan said he would should he discover... I'll never have the chance to apologize... to explain..."(14)

"That guy is hunting for us now," the other teen reminded him, hate in his voice as he said the words _'that guy'_. The other boy lowered his gaze and didn't reply. "Those men are hunting for us also," the teen continued talking to the woman in front of them in an urgent tone. "They were the ones who killed Hokuto-chan. We must leave, we're here to ask for your help. Subaru," and here he glanced to his companion who looked withdrawn and unresponsive. "Subaru said you're the Jigen no Majo. He said you can help us."(15)

"Yes," she replied firmly. "I can fulfil your wish... but to a price..."

* * *

She found the youth sitting right out of her shop's door, all curled up on himself, watching the rain without really seeing it. His... twin was still sleeping. That boy looked awake, but at the same time he looked so void of life she felt tempted to cheek if he was breathing.

She knelt next to him and he mechanically apologized for being here but he really couldn't stay inside anymore. He had to come out to check if the rain was still falling. She assured him he did nothing wrong but he didn't seem to hear her, so she showed him the pendants instead, two pendants each shaped like two twined wings, one wing dark and one wing white. He stared at them silently, looking at them without really seeing them.

"They're done. Those pendants... they will allow you and your twin to move through dimensions..." she explained and he thanked her for them apologizing in the same time for bothering her with their request still in that mechanical, empty tone as he moved to take them in his hand.

"Subaru... are you sure that's your wish?" she asked, moved by an unexpected sense of pity for him, holding the pendants back slightly. He could still change his mind if he wanted, he could still chose another future. The boy's head lowered mournfully but the green eyes were still empty, as if they had no more tears to shed.

"I... I gave him my blood," the teenager confessed to her. "I wanted so badly to save him, so badly, but now... I've cursed him in the same way I am. However... however the process isn't complete yet... he's not... fully like me yet... and, due to this... his bond with me runs too deep... if I were to die he would die too... so... I must live... I wanted to live for him... and I'll live for him... even if in truth... I'm already dead. I guess... that's the price for trying to run from my destiny... but I... I'm not like Neesan or Kamui... I couldn't bear the idea to feed on humans when I can survive with normal food... and I wanted... but it's all lost now... Seishiro-san... Seishiro-san..." he trailed off and fell silent. It wasn't his wish but he had decided and she didn't have the heart to prod him further.

* * *

The handsome man arrived few days later.

"They said... you hosted two boys... two vampires..." he said looking around immediately in search of them. He had searched through all his world then, in desperation, he had turned to his mother. Had he been free to chose he would have preferred to never see her again but he had nothing to lose anymore. The meeting had been unpleasant but in the end she'd told him what he wanted to know and had given him the means to reach the Jigen no Majo. The woman looked like an older version of his mother but he didn't mind. As long as she could fulfil his wish he didn't care.

"They're gone now," she replied, looking at him calmly, as if to have a man showing up all of sudden and out of nowhere in her garden was an ordinary occurrence to her, and not looking at all bothered by the rain that was falling on them both.

"Where?" he asked, feeling desperation rise inside him. He'd gone so far and they... they weren't here anymore?

"I don't know," she replied shrugging carelessly. "They're moving through dimensions. This is a fulfilling wish shop. They asked the means to move through dimensions and I gave it to them."

"I want it too," he said urgently and rather childishly. "I want to track them down. That's my Wish. Fulfil it."

"To a price," she replied calmly. "Your right eye," she stated pointing her finger to it and, for a moment, he covered it protectively as a memory bubbled inside him.

* * *

_'I'm sorry. To think you've eyes of such a pretty colour... it's not fair they can't see well...'_

* * *

But it was an old memory, an old memory of a time that wouldn't return.

"I'll pay it," he said calmly moving away his hand. After all he... he had nothing to lose anymore...

And the rain kept falling...

* * *

_**"Empty spaces fill me up with holes  
Distant faces with no place left to go  
Without you within me I can't find no rest  
Where I'm going is anybody's guess **_

__

_**I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go  
I don't wanna make you face this world alone  
I wanna let you go (alone) **_

**_I've tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete."  
(Backstreet Boys - "Incomplete")_**

* * *

**JJ's Notes:**

1. Sacred ground had been considered for ages a place in which evil spirits couldn't enter. Mind you, I'm not considering the vampires evil in this story, I'm assuming merely that sacred ground works to shield the presence of who is over it from people like vampires who can sense them. In the manga Kamui said he could sense Seishiro wasn't in that world... I assume he won't have problems tracking Subaru down as well. That's why Subaru hides on sacred ground, so his presence can't be sensed.

2. Kamui could hear Syaoran's thoughts while they were under water. I assume it works also out of the water and that Subaru too can do it. Also I assume vampires' senses are sharper than humans', so Subaru can notice the physical differences in Seishiro when he's lying even better than if he was a truth's machine.

3. In **'Tokyo Babylon'** Seishiro suggested to Subaru to use _'Pochi'_ as nickname. I couldn't resist the temptation to use it here...

4. As I said before I assume vampires have better senses than humans. Ergo Subaru's eyesight is way better than human eyesight.

5. I do assume vampires can eat normal food and can go on living without feeding themselves with blood. Why? Because no one seems to know Kamui is a vampire and I guess it would be noticed if he were to drink people's blood (unless there's something between Kamui and Fuma or Kamui and Kakyou, who seems to know everything about everyone, CLAMP hadn't told us yet...). I assume blood upper their power and energy and that they like it quite a bit, almost in a glutton way, that's all. You're free to disagree and CLAMP is free to prove me wrong.

6. According to many sources vampires' bodies are cold (because they're technically dead). However some says that, should they drink a good amount of blood, their body would heat up. However since such blood loss might be dangerous for Seishiro Subaru doesn't want him to warm him up.

7. Yes, the cut is rather tiny but Subaru's senses are sharper than humans so he's still very affected by the sight of blood.

8. I'm assuming Subaru's servants had been soulless artificial creatures like Moro and Maru. Due to this they're incapable of feeling psychical attraction toward him. Kamui and Subaru's Neesan, being _'family'_ are also not physically interested in him. Due to this Subaru had never experienced being a source of physical attraction and doesn't quite understand it.

9. I'm assuming vampires do not age.

10. I'm assuming Subaru lived alone in a castle with Kamui, his Neesan and the servants. The servants didn't, couldn't indulge in it, to his Neesan the call of blood was much more exciting and erotic than any sexual play men had invented and Kamui was as ignorant as him over the whole topic.

11. Transforming a human in a vampire is often called as _'giving birth'_ to a vampire. Subaru assumed that Seishiro is referring to that and, since he didn't want Seishiro to become a vampire, he, of course, doesn't want to do that with him...

12. Vampires reproduces sharing blood with a human, ergo they don't need to indulge in sex...

13. Vampires look way stronger than humans. Due to this I fear Seishiro wouldn't be able to stop Subaru, should he decide to leave.

14. The men with a bat on their uniforms are Fei-Wang Reed's men and no the manga didn't say anything about them searching for the vampire twins. I've just made it up, okay?

15. Yes, the woman with whom the two teens are talking is Ichihara Yuko.

**JJ's Extra Notes:**  
Yes, yes, I know I made up Subaru, Kamui and Seishiro's back stories. I tried to resist the temptation but I couldn't and this piece was born.  
Now... I included Hokuto because... well, I like her. I do fear CLAMP doesn't plan to have her related to the vampire twins, maybe she won't even show up at all but this is fiction and I thought it was a good idea to have her be the one who turned Subaru and Kamui in vampires. So she's family and at the same time she's not and this also fit with how Subaru and Kamui could be twins and not look like each other at all (by the way, I know it's possible for twins to resemble each other but I liked this explanation more...).  
I seriously doubt Seishiro was a monk. First, in the Outo saga he looks more like a priest then a monk, second, it might be he was just wearing some clothes he bought there. The clothes he was wearing in Clow were different after all and Syaoran and his friends changes their clothes regularly in each new world so clothes might not mean a thing.  
The monastery just looked like a good place for the story to unfold.  
I also tragically fear that, whatever type of relation CLAMP planned Subaru and Seishiro to have before they began travelling through dimension, it didn't include any physical aspect besides the blood sharing (CLAMP are so evil... I want Subaru and Seishiro to be moved in the **'Wish'** manga! In it couples do the things couples normally do!).  
As for why Subaru never said to Seishiro his name... While in Outo Seishiro thought Subaru might be Oruha. Now... he either suspects Subaru to have always pretended to be the way he was or only barely glimpses him if he knew him at all. And he didn't ask Oruha if she was Subaru or Kamui, just Subaru a sign he didn't know Kamui's name or knows Oruha can't be Kamui. So I tried working out a situation in which he would know Subaru, he would get his blood and yet not know the boy was _'Subaru, the vampire'_.  
As for Subaru and Seishiro being connected to the point that with one's death the other would die as well... I don't quite know how Seishiro got Subaru's blood. They said Fye would depend from Kurogane's blood (no idea if this would be because Kurogane was involved and, had he simply gotten Kamui's one, he would depend from no one). Seishiro didn't seem to need Subaru's blood or someone else's blood since he's travelling alone and he's not seeing Subaru by quite a bit of time but I wanted them to be bonded anyway... consider it a wishful thinking...

**Dictionary:**  
**-chan:** Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child  
**-sama:** "Lord" or "Lady"  
**-san:** "Mr." or "Mrs."  
**Jigoku:** Hell  
**Kami:** God  
**Kekkai:** Shield  
**Jigen no Majo:** Witch Of Dimensions  
**Neesan:** "Sister" or "Older Girl"  
**Sakura:** "Cherry Tree" or "Cherry Blossom"

* * *

Don't grumble silently, please let me know what you're thinking of this!  
Send me your comments!


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